The Secret to Making People Like You

Your body is a 24-hour broadcasting station letting every one in sight know exactly how you feel at any time.  You may not realize it, but your feelings show on the outside.  You know how that is.  If someone does not like you, they don't have to tell you that.  You can feel it.  Then there is the other side of the coin.  When someone does like you, you can feel that as well.  And, doesn't that feel great?  Don't you just love to be around those people?  Would you like to be one of those people?  Well, you can.

First let's look at what usually happens when you meet someone for the first time.  We create a judgment based on their appearance.  Do they dress like us?  Are they close to our age?  What do they do for a living?  Could we possibly have anything in common with them?  Basically, we spend the first minute deciding whether or not they appeal to us and if we want to continue a meaningful conversation with them.  Meanwhile, they are doing the same with us.  If we both judge the other to be someone interesting, then there is a possibility for a friendship to develop.  As we become more comfortable with the other person, they become more comfortable with us.  Based on these early judgments, we decide if we like this person, and they do the same.

Basically, we think too much instead of responding with candid, open friendliness without being self-conscious.  When our bodies are sending out thousands of signals at the conscious and unconscious level, we are bound to send a few wrong signals.  

Then there are the other signals we send out when talking to close friends.  We don't need to worry about being shy or coming across the wrong way.  We send the signals that say "I care about you", and they are picked up at the unconscious level.

What if you were to send those great signals to everyone you meet?  What would that do for your personal and professional life?  Think about how great your relationships could be if you didn't have to worry about saying the right thing to impress people or worry about sending the wrong message because you have other things on your mind.  The good news is, you can do just that.

When meeting someone new, play a mental trick on yourself.   In your mind's eye, see this person as an old friend.  Think of them as someone you had a great relationship with years ago, but somehow you lost track of each other.  You have been thinking about this person lately and wishing you could connect with them again.  Suddenly, there they are!  After all of these years, the two of you are reunited.  There are no awkward introductions or sizing up of each other.  Just that wonderful joy of seeing this person.  That wonderful feeling of true friendship.

The next time you are in a group of people you know and people you don't know, first look at someone you know and notice how you feel about them.  Then look at someone you don't know and notice the feelings you have about him or her.  You will find they are quite different.  Now, think of the person you don't know in the same way you think of your friend.  Imagine that this person is an old friend that you have known for a long time.  Notice how your feelings about that person change instantly.  Now, when you talk to that person you will send out messages at the unconscious level that say, "I like you and care about you".  The other person will immediately feel comfortable with you and like you without even knowing why.