The four most powerful words in communication are: Please, Thank You and the person's first name. You probably learned the first 3 as a child. Dale Carnegie said, "The sweetest sound a person can hear is their own name". This is one to remember because it also goes back to when we were children. When ever our parents would talk to us, it was always with our first name. We learned to associate good feelings to that sound and they stay for life.

Unfortunately, we don't use any of these enough, and we rarely use them together. Let's look at them separately.

If you want to influence someone, or just make them feel better, add their name and "please" to any request. Notice the following requests:

"Hand me that paper."

"Please hand me that Paper."

"Mary, would you please hand me that paper?"

In the last example, we have taken it a step further by making it a true request instead of a command. Everyone would like to be asked instead of told to do something. The best way to include someone's name is to put it at the front or end of the sentence. Of course, there is such a thing as going to far, so use good sense.

What about that naked thank you? It is as simple as this: never let the words thank you stand naked alone. When we hear the words like this, it tends to go almost unnoticed like a common courtesy. To make it really meaningful, say why you are thanking them.

"Thank you for coming to the meeting."

"Thank you for your valuable input."

"Thank you for being so thoughtful."

Now, it becomes even more effective if we add the person's name.

"Mary, thank you for being so thoughtful".

Now that you know, you will never be caught with the naked please or thank you again. By the way, thank you for taking the time to read this and become a better communicator.